Readers Letters

Word up amigos!

I've been sick the last week and a half... Not like proper dying sick but like really shitty and just sick enough not to be able to go training or do anything useful! Boooo ! Oddly enough this affliction came upon me just as I grew an AMAZING goatee! I am now convinced that the AMAZING goatee has drained me of all my precious resources and shattered my immune system. I tried to fix this last Saturday by getting SMASHED... Oddly enough this didn't work and here I am.

So as seen as I am not doing anything else I will take this time to answer a couple of questions I had in the post that CJ linked to... The one about blondzilla.

Without further ado

Bolo said...

I'd like to hear more about the pre-sex speech and what frames you set up.

Sometimes before you skedaddle back to your place these chicks seem to come to their senses and realize they are about to go home with a stranger, I think you could refer to this as "going out of state". They kinda pull back a little bit so basically if you detect that just tell them that nothing is going to happen that she doesn't want to happen. My exact words are usually.

"Look, nothing is going to happen that we both don't want to happen... I like you... Let's go."

These are the major frames. I don't really set them up as such, they are already there, I just focus on them the most.

1.) I am awesome

2.) She likes me

3.) I like her, she is fun and friendly

4.) She is sexy and she is trying to corrupt me

5.) She is awesome for some other reason, for instance blondzilla was super smart

6.) I can't take it anymore, she has corrupted me and now she is going to get it

The most important one and over all theme is that she is SUPER horny. Either I step up and make this happen or her poor hairbrush is going to coochville avenue once again.

pick up artist said...

Connor it's great to see you're making progress but there is something brash about your writing. I suggest you work on making your lifestyle a bit more attractive to prevent all this 'resistance' you're getting. If you work on this enough, it'll be the girl that's trying to push you into the cab.

FUCK YOU! BRASH MY ASS !! I dunno I think the resistance I got here was pretty normal... She is just about to go home with someone she met about an hour ago. I would be worried if she had no emotion calling her in here.

Anyway, great read.

Thanks

Anonymous said...

Previous poster, plz stop talkin like that. Well done Connor. He basically had a bit confidence, pushed through all the bullshit and fucked the girl. All the rest is a load of bollocks. Nice one man! ;)

Thanks dude! YEAH pick up artist that THAT! How dare you cast aspersions upon my endless brilliance!

Shake it easy Dudes !

Who am I?

Here is a conversation I had with Mal the other day on msn. Its interesting I feel and some important ideas (to my mind at least) were brought up. Mainly about giving ourselves identities and the futile nature of the rationalized self image. Started with Mal saying that he is generally passive and citing examples...

===================================================================

Mal : i dunno.....generally not.....if on a wkd urself or Jake etc don't want to go out....ill just say...fair enough and see if the other lads are around...and do whatever they do......its rare I'm the organiser........

I noticed this when Annie gave out that i never went out with her....i was like WTF......but because she'd never suggest anything, we never did anything....cos id just go along with whatever...and if nothing was suggested id go home

Actually for future reference I've noted that because in a relationship, to keep the balance right, as the guy, you have to be more assertive and organise stuff.

Connor: Now I don't want to disagree with you here however I will say this. I think giving yourself an identity out of things you have done is the path to the dark side *oh the terror* !!!

Like your kinda giving yourself a self image to live up to. I mean if we take the last trip to Spain you were the one organising everything! I remember the last night me you and Jake were out you dragged us all into ferns and none of us were making any shapes to do anything. I don't keep track of these things but there are LOTS of examples of this I am sure and you could just as easily take those examples and say "I have much more get up and go than any of the rest of the lads"!

Mal: possibly....I'm not always in the background

Connor: its all subjective and I personally think its not in our best interests to make rationalised identities out of past actions

Mal: But i am passive....more so than lets say you or Ross would be

Connor: That's your conscious mind saying that.

Mal: true

Connor: I would have said I am more passive than you. Things are what they are. Sometimes you do things, sometimes you don't. If you start making an identity out of some your past actions you'll end up acting that way all the time.

Mal: true

Connor: Its all in your head like. We're all guilty of that. Ross is a perfect example... He pure just goes and makes up stories when there is a contradiction between what he has done and who he thinks he is.

Personally (not that I f*cking know anything really) I try to keep that to a minimum... Cos you are what you do, not what you think. The more you start thinking you are a certain way the more you will act that way and its more than likely based on nothing but faulty rationalisations. Then when you do something to contradict that you'll just give yourself a headache from all the cognitive dissonance.

Here is a good example. Back in Uni I told myself I was the type of guy who didn't show off right away to girls but as they got to know me more I would show them more of my personality <- I used to tell myself that. lol. complete nonsense! I was just shyte socially and rationalised out that little piece of brilliance so I had a good excuse.

Mal: yes but Connor...if i don't blame everybody else for what happens when I'm out, I'm left with the possibility that i might be somewhat responsible for what happens and that some of it may in fact actually be my fault....and that's just a ridiculous scenario!

Connor: LOL

Mal: So I'm going to keep on blaming everyone else and live happily ever after

Connor: I find you can get around that by shifting blame to your subconscious

Mal: Is my subconscious called Crazy Horse?

Connor: LOL! I don't think CH has a conscious. He just does stuff! Its mad though. Its like the logical me who thinks about stuff and then the animal me that actually does shit. The logical me just watches what happens and then goes "f*ck me... that was cool/ terrible, I wonder why i did that"

===============================================================================

If you look at something like the framing that CJ does, it follows a similar mechanism. You get the girl to give herself and identity out of something she has done in the past. Early in the interaction this may be that she is very friendly and laid back and about five minutes later it will be that she is very sexual.

I try my best not to do that to myself because the truth is we have no idea what we are doing, its pure subconscious behaviour patterns based on evolutionary benefits. When you rationalise it you will always try to make yourself seem nice and in control. We are but imperfect apes, we are afraid of the dark and we are afraid to die. We want to pass on our genes and we want our genes to survive. We are so lucky that we have a logical mind also, if we just use it to lie to ourselves its just a waste. Just try your best not to hurt anyone and have fun, you only live once.

If you're interested, these are some of the books that made me draw this conclusion

• The selfish gene
• The red Queen
• Tricks of the mind
• How your mind works
• The Blank Slate

I love in the Derren Brown clip where poor Judy is trying to rationalise why she picked 'A'. A for Awesome!

The attack of Blondzilla !

OK douches, let me set the scene

Myself, Jake, Mal and Ross all out rampaging through town like a hurricane of brilliance! We are all pretty toasted and find ourselves in a late bar. The time is 1am.

In walk the barmaids from our favourite bar! Then are on us immediately... COOL! They fucking love us for some reason. I am wearing a pretty faggoty top and they are all accusing me of being gay!? Can you believe it!? Well I strongly I disagree

"Look since when does fucking guys doesn't make you gay?!" I actually had a whole comedy routine about that but I digress...

Anyway I have no fucking clue what we were saying to them but somewhere in the haze of giggling and nonsense I spot her. Standing 6' 3" in heels, long blond hair and sexy secretary glasses... Blondzilla!!

Over I go, yak yak yak and all of a sudden we are sitting down on a couch and I am complimenting her on how smart she was. Then I told her I thought she was sexy and she should get away from me. Some time later I suggested we go back to my place to watch wedding crashers. Some serious resistance before getting into the taxi but I basically pushed her in and told the taxi driver to go! Had to give the whole "Look nothing is going to happen that we both don't want to happen bla bla bla" speech, this speech is quite effective in disapating negative feelings about the pull actually.

So into Chateau Connor we go... Of course I don't even own wedding crashers so we convened in my room to watch some video on youtube. Pushed her onto the bed and made out some. Stopped watched the video and slammed blondzilla back on the bed. She was towering over me. Pretty funny. Well Guess what!? I encountered a mountain of resistance to sex! Earlier in my career I would have gotten frustrated, pushed too hard and fucked it up... However after the previous nights revelations I was just thinking to myself.... "Well this chick is horned out of her mind and basically its a battle between me and her fucking hair brush so the odds are definitely with me, I am just going to wait this one out until she breaks"

And I am glad to say after a quick nap she did... and all of a sudden transformed in a Wild Cat of sexual desire! Lots of fun for Connor... yay!

She was actually a really cool girl too. Had a good laugh with her the next day... Didn't bother calling her again. Don't know why really, just couldn't be arsed I suppose.

Watching Star Wars here now (the old ones not the catastrophic nonsense that was the prequels). The story at its core revolves around a central character, Luke. Due to some seemingly random events a whole galaxy of wonder, adventure and possibility opens up in front of him. Love movies like that. Sometimes I kinda feel like that myself. Life is fun.

Connor

The "I have never" game!

So in order to take this game malarkey to the next level and what not I've been going out on my own lately. I highly recommend this to everyone! The hard part is making yourself leave the house but after that its all gravy!

So I was out on my own there Friday two weeks ago. The area I go to is kind of a hipish but not super crowded area and all of the bars close at 12 (which is awesome as I can go training the next day). Well I wandered into this bar restaurant place to warm up and get the palaver juices all nice and lucid! I spot chick sitting by her own... Over I go! BOOM disaster. Next one! Two chicks outside... BOOM they love me and invite me in to have drinks at their table with their flatmate. Rock and Roll !

So while in there they suggest playing this game called the "I have Never" game. Here are the rules...

1.) The game travels around the table clockwise in direction

2.) The nominated person makes a statement which may be true or false starting with the words "I have never.... ".

3.) Anyone who has actually done the previously suggested statement must drink a shot (this includes the person who suggested it if they have done it)

An example might be "I have never knocked one out in work" so anyone who has done that must do a shot... Here are some of the things the girls drank shots to

• Penetrating oneself with ones toothbrush (All admitted to this one)
• Penetrating oneself with ones hairbrush (All admitted to this)
• Having anal sex until one bled (Two here)
• Having sex with more than one person (Two of them did this)
• Masturbating in work (Only one here)

There was fucking worse shit than that which isn't even safe for this blog and I was sitting there thinking to myself "Holy fuck! Chicks are depraved !! AWESOME!!!". You see, I now understand, they are fucking horned up out of their minds for the most part! Remember that everyone, it will serve you well. Like, of course, I've heard people like CJ yak on about this before but there is nothing like first hand information.

Those particular ladies invited me to a party they were having the next night but I got laid elsewhere that night and hence didn't go. So stay tuned fuckers! Write up to follow!

This is the summer time!

The weather in London is kick Ass right now and although I expect that to last for about ZERO more days(approx) everything is coming up Milhouse . 

1.) I am out chasing girls lots again, have curtailed my drinking to a reasonable extent and am flush with a renewed awesomeness (although suffering from quite a whack of AA)!!

2.) Ross is studying for some actuary exams or something so I am (almost) free of his (very) bad (yet very fun) influence.

3.) Mal broke up with his GF a few weeks back and is actively on the pull again .

4.) Right now, Jake is on something of a roll and has slept with 2 new girls in the last 2 weeks taking his tally since he moved in to 6, which is actually quite a lot considering he has about as much game as a flock of useless! One of the girls came down to the flat a few nights back and accosted him with a fine selection of dildos, lube and some shit I never even heard of that you place on your Bernhard Langer that has some vibrator attached to it or some shit. AWESOME! 

Of the 6 girls, 1 has been from cold approach.

The 4 of us were out together again Saturday for the first time in forever and to cut a long story short Jake railed one of the barmaids out of our favourite watering hole... The fiend!

I also got laid that night and I will write up the details in the next few days... 

Peace out hombres...

Connor Visits Crazy Horse Part Deux

Day 3

Right, so after the day of rest taken on the second day we were ready to rock and roll once more! To celebrate this glorious day of holy gloriousness Crazy Horse took some brownies. Then he broke the brownies and said...

"Take this all of you and eat it, for all of ye who eat this brownie shall be very stoned"

And so all the disciples took the brownies and ate it.

After this Crazy Horse took some beer and he blessed it. He said

"Take this all of you and drink it"

And so all the disciples took the beer and they drank it and then watched some seriously awesome kung fu movies.

No I usually don't engage in much THC based revelry and brownies are indeed a tricky beast... You see they don't kick in for a few hours... I didn't know that and although I am sure crazy horse was well aware he didn't care and we stuffed our little faces full of the nutritious brownies.

Cut to a few hours later and I am baked out of my fucking mind. We were in some bar and Crazy Horses pals were trying to talk to me but I was just sitting there staring at the table. I remember trying to talk to girls but I can't... Its like they're there and I'm there and words were coming out of my mouth but there was nothing there... Then me and crazy horse fell asleep in a bar and that brought day 3 to an end

Day4 

Up bright and early at 10am... Immediately we down shots of bushmills hit the old rock band and begin a day of drunken mayhem. I don't know what happened next but we did end up in some German bar where myself and crazy horse down a couple of 2 litre boots... Next thing we are in some bar and crazy horse is trying to make me drink the elixir of PDP (rum and red bull)... Thank fuck I meet this cute maths teacher and make haste out of there with her waking up in staten island the next day! 

And off home with me! Thank fuck!

Clearly the moral of this story is that if you teach a man to fish he will always see a stitch in time! 

Connor Visits Crazy Horse Part 1

Day 1: 

I arrive into NYC at 19:00. Myself and Crazy Horse, both being of sound, mind decide that we should take it easy on the first night so we rock up to Crazy Horses Local... Details of events are vague but this is what appears to have happened. 

After drinking somewhere in the region of 10 pints and 12 shots I am on top of the bar trying to access the taps and hug the barmaid (who is a monstrosity). Crazy Horse has fallen asleep on the bar and his pal Eddie is trying to wake him up.

I get into a heated argument with this absolute bitch of an old lady from Ireland, called Maeve, about genetic replication and natural selection as a catalyst for evolution. The argument went something like this. 

Maeve: It's really nice to meet someone from Ireland over here! So where at home are you from Connor?

Connor: Look Meave how else do you explain whats happening with Swine Flu and other viruses?

Maeve: Where?

Connor: No it happens at the genetic level!!!

Maeve: What are you talking about?

Connor: EVOLUTION Maeve! EVOLUTION!!!

I showed her.

After sharpening my debating skills it decided it was time for a round of those things Charlotte drinks in Sex and the City. And sure enough the Barmaid is obliging! I skull down mine, delicious! Crazy Horse throws a shot of Jameson into his, takes a sip, then looks at the barmaid like someone had kicked him in the balls. 

"I'm not drinking that... It's DISGUSTING !"

Before he finished his sentence I fired it down the hatch and tried to get behind the bar once again.

Next thing I am told is that I was outside throwing garbage cans down at basement apartments as crazy horse is hurling his guts out. 

Sometime after this I have my first clear memory of the night. It involves me dangling from a 6ft cast iron spiked fence around a old church by one of my pant legs. Crazy Horse had bounded over the thing, with what to my drunken mind looked, like a Gazelle. Next thing I know two local police are on the scene!

Policeman #1 : "What the hell is going on here? This is private property !"

Crazy Horse : ..... (Crazy Horse had slipped into what appeared to be some sort of standing coma)

Connor : (As I dangled from this fucking fence, my favourite jeans torn to shit) Yeah... I tried to take a short cut. It didn't work.

Policeman #1 & #2 : LOL

Crazy Horse: PIZZA !

Once Police man lifted me up by the free leg and the other one unhooked me. Then the sent us on our merry way! BOO YA! 

If there is a lesson here somewhere its that when dealing with police... always agree with them and make it look like you are a harmless idiot (which in my case is pretty easy).

Day 2 was actually quiet after the madness of the night before and doesn't contain any wisdom for your greedy little minds! Day 3 and 4 I'll write up soon...