Whales baby !!!

Its Friday...

We hit for Wales! Ross, Mal and myself set off like a pack of wild dogs, blazing a trail of awesome in our wake!

We get hammered on the train, get shitfaced in some bars, talk to some hideous chicks, get tossed from some strip clubs (Ross's fault), all get lost independently in the middle of Cardiff, somehow make it back to the hotel... All bodies accounted for in the morning... Day 1 is stamped and approved!! OH YEAH BABY !!!!

Saturday

12 bells and we start drinking.... by 2pm we are on double rounds. There are a surprising amount of people in this bar. There are a ton of old chicks and they are giving Ross the eye. They can sense we are about to get plastered and start to circle in on him.

I decide I want no part of this. But whats this behind us ?!? Chicks 2x, they are young and soft and supple and hot. I start a yakking !!! I have no idea what I am talking about other than sex... I am talking absolute filth to these chicks. I am talking about choking chicks out when I bang them and one chick trying to strangle me unconscious. Mal jumps in, he takes up where I left off...

I focus on the one, the less cute of the two, I am talking so much filth that this poor innocent girl begins to buckle... I can see it in their eyes, she needs to be put out of her misery... She tries to playfully punch me. I grab her arm and drive it up behind her back (not enough to actually her weirdos). I pull her in close to me in a violent motion... She tries to kiss me... I push her back. Game on boyeeeeeeeee !!!

I tell her to come outside for some fresh air... She comes, the I just walk her to my hotel room and bang the life out of her. Its 5pm, I am awesome. 1 hour later Mal arrives into his room with the other chick... He is awesome!!!

At 7pm we managed to reconvene. So off we went to the strip club... What a wonderful way to top off a wonderful day. Unfortunately we were met with quite the shock when we got to the strip club...

Bouncer: "Hey, YOU, *pointing to Ross* you must be joking if you think you are coming in here again after what you did last night!!"

Us: *shocked for half a second* "Where's the nearest bar?"

Bouncer: *Points up the street*

Us: *Run to nearest bar*

So we barge in the door of this bar... We start on the shots immediately. Mal starts talking to two chicks... These two are not the best to be perfectly honest... I don't care. Ten minutes later one of them is jacking me off in the bar and Mal is kissing the other. Ross is in the DJ box OBLITERATED.... I lost memory here...

Great day :D