It's FRIDAY !!!

FUCK YEAH, almost time to get out of here!

Even God himself couldn't stop me getting blasting into a super hottie this weekend.... 

YOU HEARD ME JEBUS ! I'd like to see you try, you fucking hippie

How long will he last?

Ross reckons he is staying off drink for the next 6 weeks. Myself and Mal thought that very amusing and immediately started making bets as to how long he would last. We couldn't actually bet though because none of us reckon he will last past this Saturday. Ross is brilliant with girls, he really does go after and routinely get the 9s and 10s (looks wise anyway)... however without the aid of severe inebriation he is almost useless. He has no idea what he does to get them. Oddly enough I know exactly what he does and why it works but that's cos I've been studying attraction for a good while now. 

Mal and himself were having an old chinwag on msn there today and it went a little something like this...

"I'm going for a long lunch soon…gym…then swim and a sauna…legs are sore after running the last 2 nights,  then out for a few beers tonight"

his reply was

"What!?! All them dead calories and money thrown away and hangovers and wasting the next day and a lie in and bubbles and the cool crisp taste and the banter juices flowing through your veins and the laughter and happiness and the world being full of single women and I am good looking and strong and fast and my jokes are amazingly funny and i love breasts especially those shiny tanned ones and wow i like pizza too and facebook is the best isn't it and yeah i live that way too and sure why not share a taxi and of course i won't try anything if you come in for a quick night cap and I know you didn't plan on doing this when you got in that cab and yes i realise you clearly don't usually do this with guys you meet on the first night and I'm not sure if i have any left and sure I'll pull it out in time and oops and zzzz and before you go you wouldn't mind just... and get up your taxi's here and take care now and zzzz and lads it was so funny, she thought my name was "Sebastian" the whole night! and yes defo on for a few for the Utd game....

I AM SO FRICKEN JEALOUS!!! RAAAAAAAGGGHH!!"

No *WAY* he will last past Saturday !

Awesome !

The African and middle eastern section on the bbc news website are always a treasure trove of comedic brilliance...

This one is *amazing*. Some vigilante legends  in Nigeria tracked down a car jacker who used "witch craft" to turn himself into a goat. The crafty bastard! But not crafty enough as the would be heros turned the goat over to the police and the police held the suspect over night !!! You could not make that shit up!

Which ever one of the vigilantes figured out that the thief transformed himself into a goat and somehow managed to convince the others deserves special praise I feel.  

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7846822.stm

I have this image of the whole mob nervously approaching the goat with guns drawn, fearing for their own well-being.  Circling the demon servant of Satan, car-thief turned goat as it is chewing its cud staring at them in bemusement.

I like memories

Connor: "No recollection"

Ross: "None at all"

Ross: "I have a missed call from somebody called Eoke !?!"

Connor: "Holy Fuck I completely fucked. Still hammered. What the hell happened at all?"

That was a text exchange I had this afternoon with Ross. I woke up this morning fully clothed on top of my bed at 11am. I was having a dream about Jurassic park. Some dinosaur skeletons were chasing me. Obfuscation reigned for about 5 minutes then I remembered I was out last night! 

I remembered that we were in a bar. I remembered I started talking to a guy and girl who were on a date and the girl gave me her number and then the two of them had a big fight and left (normally I wouldn't do that but I have targets to achieve at the moment so I can afford no mercy). 

Then Jake disappeared and meself and Ross hit a club... After that I have nothing. I am very discombobulated ! Four hours of my life gone... I didn't sober up today until 3 o clock. 

Damn you alcohol, why do you tease me so?

Getting better and setting goals

Well I was listening to CJs teleconference thingy there the other day and holy fuck that guy is a great help with this game malarkey. There is definitely nobody whose ideas have helped me more both in the actual strategies of meeting and dating girls and strategies of how to get better at it.

I'd been wondering lately why my results are not matching my skill level. Because I think I am pretty fucking awesome to be perfectly honest!  And now, ladies and rogues, on the 22nd of January 2009 I think I have the answer....

When I started out my goal every night was to approach a certain number of women and if I did that I was happy. Then after that I ran around and I forced myself to run a second routine after the opener a certain number of times. I remember I felt like such a fucking retard doing that but hey after a while I got comfortable with it and then things started to go further. When I could stay in set pretty much as long as I wanted and stopped using routines I started having more fun with it... just going out and enjoying myself! Then I started getting laid... so I thought that going out and just having fun with it was the way to go. But lately I've noticed that without a set goal in mind when I go out I am brutally inconsistent! But think about it if I don't have goals on a night out, how can I measure my game and make improvements? 

Its time to start getting down to work again my hard rocking amigos. From this point on my target is to attempt to get a date/ timebridge from 2 girls a night on a week day and 3 a night on a weekend! 

I can only assume this will lead to more sex than any one man can handle! Let the good times roll!

Last Night She Said

Her: "I know we didn't come back here so you can just drop off your bag!"

Me : *smiles* 

Her: "Are you a player?" 

Me : "Sure I'm an UNSTOPPABLE hornbag"

Her: "How many girls have you slept with?"

Me :"What? Like, today?"

Her:"haha.... I'm not going to sleep with you today"

Me :"Sure, whatever you're comfortable with"

Her:"You're a very interesting character!"

That conversation took place in my room at 9:30. It was looking good at that stage but alas no dice! Couldn't get the pants off.

Outrageous ! 

Getting to know Crazy Horse

Crazy horse is often an integral part of my stories, even though he actually lives in another country! I've mentioned him a lot in my blog already and as much as I'd love to write a little essay about him I've realized that there is no way to describe this man that will do him justice. So I will just list some facts (which have been verified).

1.) Crazy horse once fought Roy Jones Jr

2.) Crazy horse is the guy who is most fun to hang around with of anyone I know

3.) Crazy horse has been divorced once

4.) When referring to his ex-wife he generally starts the sentence with "That Fucking BITCH!"

5.) And generally finishes those sentences with "I'd still fuck her though!"

6.) Crazy horse has *NO* standards, though he claims he does

7.) Crazy horse is a 2 time golden gloves boxing champ from philli

8.) Crazy horse once seriously told me that he hears "demons" if he is left alone for too long

9.) Crazy horse makes up the most fantastic lies known to man when talking to girls... for instance everyone in his office in London thinks that he regularly fights in the UFC and that he is a drummer in a rock band. I once caught him telling a girl that his parents died in a freak kiln (the things you put pottery in) accident and left him with a vast fortune. 

10.) Crazy horse is currently engaged and cheats like there is no tomorrow

11.) Crazy horse is nearing 40 but is more eager to party than anyone else I know

12.) Crazy horse appears to be almost devoid of ego... which is good because he never takes himself too seriously but bad because he is liable to do anything and won't feel bad about it after

13.) Crazy horse has a very good job for a very large bank

14.) Crazy horse has a scar about 6 inches long across the back of his head where once he was hit with a tire iron during a massive neighbourhood brawl in philli 

15.) Crazy horse has the funniest stories I've ever heard

16.) Every girl I tell about Crazy horse says she would hate him until she meets him and then LOVES him

17.) I think Crazy horse works because when you hang around with him you are always between a state of excitement and fear

18.) As Mal once pointed out... If Crazy Horse had just a little less charisma you would think he was INSANE instead of brilliant. He has just enough to get away with it

19.) If the world reverted back to tribal times tomorrow, I would be VERY worried that Crazy horse would probably butcher me

20.) Crazy Horse and his divorce lawyer were once chased out of Mexico by a gang after an incident with some "loose women"

21.) While on holiday with Crazy Horse in Spain he had sex with 3 girls in 3 nights. 2 of the 3 cried afterwards. Even Crazy horse thought that unusual

22.) Once while having sex with a stripper Crazy horse destroyed a hotel room, smashing her though a plasterboard wall at one stage... he mantains that she liked it rough

23.) Once a bisexual girlfriend of Crazy Horse brought her lesbian GF to crazy horse for a threesome so that the GF could be fucked by a man for the first time. After the lesbian said she never thought it would be so rough and won't be having sex with men again. 

To love others you must.....

Well I've come to the conclusion that Ross is bat shit crazy. So I mentioned before that he was seeing a really cool and stunningly hot girl with the last few months. Sounds good, right? WRONG !! Its a fucking travesty ! And the best bit, due to the fact that she is actually great, is listening to him invent stuff to complain about. Its brilliant ! For instance

Ross:  "Oh she's sooo old looking!" *she is 30 by the way*

Me:  "What are you talking about? She's gorgeous !"

Ross: "No, look in her eyes. They are withered"

Me:  "No they're not, she looks like she could pass for early 20s"

Ross: "Yeah but *IN* her eyes!"

Me: *thinking to myself* "LOL! Holy fuck he is mental!"

I have to say I almost respect that level of dementia. Mal was telling me that his ex-GF who he stayed with for years used to punch him in the face on a semi regular basis and with hold sex from him. Well he kept coming back for more there so I guess that's what he wants. I think we all have a little bit of self loathing or something, its just especially funny and evident in his case. Although not quite as evident as crazy horse, who I am convinced at this stage might actually pass as certifiably mad. You know I can't say anything really, the thought of an actual real relationship frightens the bejesus out of me. Yuck! All loved up like some fucking tree hugging hippie, no thanks !

I have a date tonight with a cute American girl. Wish me luck readers !

The one you know as Connor

January...

**Warning: If you are one of these positive energy, happy thoughts hippies.... Stop reading here. This will likely be a bitchfest ! **

I am very annoyed right now and here are the things that are annoying me.

1.) My stupid fucking job. I just can't take the nerdification going on in here any more. I have ZERO interest in this horseshit. Working is a mugs game... Unfortunately as I have no better ideas, I am one of those mugs right now!

At the very moment I write this there is a herd of nerds behind me all huddled up in a circle like wilderbeast who sense danger. They are all cackling and guffawing and coming in their pantaloons over some fucking technical nonsense. Their little shrills are piercing my heart like red hot needles... 

Must find new line of work! 

2.) Well it's January and January sucks

3.) The fact that I have to expend energy to get girls! Seriously, what the fuck is that about? 

4.) Well actually that's it, everything else is going good when I think about it... I am training hard, drinking less, eating less, playing lots of guitar, losing lots of weight... 14 pounds since December 22nd, another 8 and I'll be at optimal weight. My game is good, although I should be getting more results I feel... 

Now I know what some of you are thinking...

"Oh Connor doesn't hate his job or January, his is just annoyed with himself and the fact that he is finding himself creeping into bad moods a lot lately"

Well Dr Freud, aren't you very clever! Now fuck off and don't read my blog anymore !! 

Just a little update...

So in my last post I mentioned that all my friends were resisting going out now due to new girlfriends and new years resolutions etc... Oddly enough I took what they said at face value.

Well they all lasted a grand total of **THREE** glorious days before all getting ossified again. I returned to London and arrived into my apartment on Sunday afternoon. Needless to say I was shocked and horrified to find Jake comatosed in his bed. He had no recollection of events the previous night apart from the memory of being in a bar. 

Mal it transpires was kissing some chick in said bar (he thinks) and Ross made it back to a girls house but she wouldn't leave him in... All 3 were covered in cuts and bruises.

Looks like we will be picking up where we left off...

In other news, I will be starting my years adventuring on Thursday night (sober) and I will start day time approaching tomorrow