I'd like to hear more about the pre-sex speech and what frames you set up.
Sometimes before you skedaddle back to your place these chicks seem to come to their senses and realize they are about to go home with a stranger, I think you could refer to this as "going out of state". They kinda pull back a little bit so basically if you detect that just tell them that nothing is going to happen that she doesn't want to happen. My exact words are usually.
"Look, nothing is going to happen that we both don't want to happen... I like you... Let's go."
These are the major frames. I don't really set them up as such, they are already there, I just focus on them the most.
1.) I am awesome
2.) She likes me
3.) I like her, she is fun and friendly
4.) She is sexy and she is trying to corrupt me
5.) She is awesome for some other reason, for instance blondzilla was super smart
6.) I can't take it anymore, she has corrupted me and now she is going to get it
The most important one and over all theme is that she is SUPER horny. Either I step up and make this happen or her poor hairbrush is going to coochville avenue once again.
Connor it's great to see you're making progress but there is something brash about your writing. I suggest you work on making your lifestyle a bit more attractive to prevent all this 'resistance' you're getting. If you work on this enough, it'll be the girl that's trying to push you into the cab.
FUCK YOU! BRASH MY ASS !! I dunno I think the resistance I got here was pretty normal... She is just about to go home with someone she met about an hour ago. I would be worried if she had no emotion calling her in here.
Anyway, great read.
Thanks
Previous poster, plz stop talkin like that. Well done Connor. He basically had a bit confidence, pushed through all the bullshit and fucked the girl. All the rest is a load of bollocks. Nice one man! ;)
Thanks dude! YEAH pick up artist that THAT! How dare you cast aspersions upon my endless brilliance!
Shake it easy Dudes !
Here is a conversation I had with Mal the other day on msn. Its interesting I feel and some important ideas (to my mind at least) were brought up. Mainly about giving ourselves identities and the futile nature of the rationalized self image. Started with Mal saying that he is generally passive and citing examples...
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Mal : i dunno.....generally not.....if on a wkd urself or Jake etc don't want to go out....ill just say...fair enough and see if the other lads are around...and do whatever they do......its rare I'm the organiser........
I noticed this when Annie gave out that i never went out with her....i was like WTF......but because she'd never suggest anything, we never did anything....cos id just go along with whatever...and if nothing was suggested id go home
Actually for future reference I've noted that because in a relationship, to keep the balance right, as the guy, you have to be more assertive and organise stuff.
Connor: Now I don't want to disagree with you here however I will say this. I think giving yourself an identity out of things you have done is the path to the dark side *oh the terror* !!!
Like your kinda giving yourself a self image to live up to. I mean if we take the last trip to Spain you were the one organising everything! I remember the last night me you and Jake were out you dragged us all into ferns and none of us were making any shapes to do anything. I don't keep track of these things but there are LOTS of examples of this I am sure and you could just as easily take those examples and say "I have much more get up and go than any of the rest of the lads"!
Mal: possibly....I'm not always in the background
Connor: its all subjective and I personally think its not in our best interests to make rationalised identities out of past actions
Mal: But i am passive....more so than lets say you or Ross would be
Connor: That's your conscious mind saying that.
Mal: true
Connor: I would have said I am more passive than you. Things are what they are. Sometimes you do things, sometimes you don't. If you start making an identity out of some your past actions you'll end up acting that way all the time.
Mal: true
Connor: Its all in your head like. We're all guilty of that. Ross is a perfect example... He pure just goes and makes up stories when there is a contradiction between what he has done and who he thinks he is.
Personally (not that I f*cking know anything really) I try to keep that to a minimum... Cos you are what you do, not what you think. The more you start thinking you are a certain way the more you will act that way and its more than likely based on nothing but faulty rationalisations. Then when you do something to contradict that you'll just give yourself a headache from all the cognitive dissonance.
Here is a good example. Back in Uni I told myself I was the type of guy who didn't show off right away to girls but as they got to know me more I would show them more of my personality <- I used to tell myself that. lol. complete nonsense! I was just shyte socially and rationalised out that little piece of brilliance so I had a good excuse.
Mal: yes but Connor...if i don't blame everybody else for what happens when I'm out, I'm left with the possibility that i might be somewhat responsible for what happens and that some of it may in fact actually be my fault....and that's just a ridiculous scenario!
Connor: LOL
Mal: So I'm going to keep on blaming everyone else and live happily ever after
Connor: I find you can get around that by shifting blame to your subconscious
Mal: Is my subconscious called Crazy Horse?
Connor: LOL! I don't think CH has a conscious. He just does stuff! Its mad though. Its like the logical me who thinks about stuff and then the animal me that actually does shit. The logical me just watches what happens and then goes "f*ck me... that was cool/ terrible, I wonder why i did that"
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If you look at something like the framing that CJ does, it follows a similar mechanism. You get the girl to give herself and identity out of something she has done in the past. Early in the interaction this may be that she is very friendly and laid back and about five minutes later it will be that she is very sexual.
I try my best not to do that to myself because the truth is we have no idea what we are doing, its pure subconscious behaviour patterns based on evolutionary benefits. When you rationalise it you will always try to make yourself seem nice and in control. We are but imperfect apes, we are afraid of the dark and we are afraid to die. We want to pass on our genes and we want our genes to survive. We are so lucky that we have a logical mind also, if we just use it to lie to ourselves its just a waste. Just try your best not to hurt anyone and have fun, you only live once.
If you're interested, these are some of the books that made me draw this conclusion
I’ve been to Brazil numerous times but I learned after the first time, bjj training was for the asexual among us, real men go to party. This trip I by-passed the training and nearly killed myself n the process. This time I brought my buddy Nestor with us. He is a fashion photographer who has no problem picking up chicks but there is something magical when he breaks out the camera. He can make anyone look amazing and after a few clicks we generally have a line of women posing.
This trip brought no calm before the storm. I meet some of my friends at a Bodega turn bar/rodizio at night with plastic chairs and tables outside on the warm night. My Brazilian buddy had just broken up with his girlfriend and in the mood to party hard so he broke out a bottle of scotch to kick off right. Nestor breaks out the camera and soon we have 10-20 girls joining us. We take some names and numbers leaving promises to meet up later as we decided it was time to hit the club.
Susio tells us we are going to the hottest club in Rio and by this point I am pretty bent. When we arrive the line to get in is a mile long, literally. “Don’t worry, my brother” He tells me “we’ll talk to the guy at the door.” Our crew, then twenty deep and mostly professional fighters, pushes our way through the line to the front. I actually felt a little bad but then again these guys were the locals so when in Rome… As it turns out, they don’t actually know the guys at the door and what they meant by “talk” was run over. We bum rush our way inside and scatter to the four winds until the ruckus dies down. At this point, I think it is a good idea to keep a low profile so I start chatting up some chick at the bar comparing tattoos when a waitress comes by with a tray of shots in test tubes. Keeping with the ninja persona I’ve taken on I decide to purchase the whole tray, stand up on the bar stool and start throwing them out to everyone. It is actually quite difficult to spend $300 on alcohol in a bar down there but not when you pull this same stunt three more times.
By then the jet-lag and the booze are taking their toll. Mentally I have checked out but physically I danced on for hours. The light turned back on in my head sometime around 3AM when I realized I was in a conversation with some chick named Bianca. Blah, blah, blah… I’m a musician…. Blah, blah, blah… I’m having a BBQ tomorrow. A BBQ? Hey, can I get in on that? Baby, that’s why I am telling you. So I take the number and move on. I may have mauled her too but I am sure I probably did during the blackout anyway. On the ride home, I can’t remember what she looked like and I was sure her musical ability laid along the lines of Zamphir the Pan Flute so I decide not to call her.
Next Night is the big one that I’ve been waiting for, the Chemical Rave in the Tijuca forest. This was insane. Nestor (camera in tow) and I are there and hit the scene like VIPs. I am downing vodka and red bull and am already tweaked on weed. Tony Manero had nothing on me as I danced up a storm with too many chicks to remember. At one point I ended up on a Brazilian television program filming the rave. There were thousands of people, grinding everyone. Among this mass I happen to run into Bianca I blew off earlier. Damn, she was hot. I threw a bunch of “Babies” and “I called you but I can’t figure out the area codes down here”, enough to set up a meet and greet the next day.
We move on and I am back on the hunt. We have settled into the VIP section which has a raised dais with mattresses and couches, no joke, and at this point have pulled a few of the models working the event. It was later I would realize that having a camera always with us was a double edged sword. It attracts chicks but it leaves a trail of evidence. I pick up one of the girls and throw her on the couch approaching her like an Aztec sun god. Forgetting all around me I proceeded to rail the shit out of her. Needless to say, thanks to Nestor, I will never be able to run for public office (outside of Vegas).
Eventually, the sun comes up and we party on until noon. It was then I realized that I had no sun screen and if we didn’t get moving I would die. I convince the chicks to drive us home. That was a surreal moment in the trip. Here I am in this chick’s car, she barely speaks English and I just generally want to get away afterwards. I can’t help but look at them after and think I can’t believe what you just let me do to you. That couldn’t have been comfortable for you. It is then that this chick’s son calls her and for some unknown reason puts me on the phone with him. All I can mutter is “And what is your name? Are you doing well in school? Did you know your mother could put both legs entirely behind her head?” Luckily, I make it back to the hotel room with only a minor bit of shame.
Now what to do with the musician? At this point I don’t want to see her. I assume this is definitely some classical music BS. I decided once again to drag Nestor along. Bianca as it turns out is the lead guitarist in an all-girl Brazilian punk band and was once again hot as hell. I have the memory of a dog and soon as a chick is out of sight and out of mind I assume the worst. Now I am digging this and am ready to lay the smack down on any dude that come near her and her too for the hell of it. Problem is that I’ve slept a total of five hours in three days. That’s like trying to get an erection at a Weight Watchers convention. Even in the best of times a guy needs a little help and thank god we have our top scientists focusing on what matters flaccid penis syndrome and male pattern baldness. Fck cancer! I pop a few like M&Ms Nestor and I take Bianca and the bassist back to their apartment and I don’t leave for another week. Once again missing my flight home and calling work to say I lost my passport and couldn’t leave the country.
If you haven't read the first part of this STOP NOW and go HERE first. This is Crazy Horse's side of the story... I can't stop laughing!
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Ok so here is what happened. The evening starts off nice, dinner and our usual conversation of sexually laced banter full of innuendos and dares like taking her panties off at the table and passing them to me to hold onto. She tells me that she has recently broken up with everyone and is looking to get control on her life, perhaps settle down. I’m thinking we got a good thing going. Why ruin it? As a male I ignore these threats to focus on the goal at hand. We can deal with this later (or not).
She wants to tie me up. Not something I’m into but I acquiesce thinking she will just ride me, etc. but no. She gets me naked and in this Japanese rope bondage set up, new trick, and I am wracked with pain. You can’t move to a position that isn’t unbearable. What happens next? She leaves the room to watch TV, clean the apartment and pay her bills. WTF!?! Occasionally, she drops in to check in on me and by “check in” I mean verbally abuse me – telling me I am a worthless, pitiful, disgust her, etc. Occasionally, I get a slap across the face but that apparently wasn’t the point of this. I am not sure what was. I would have preferred to be beaten. Personally, I am not into that type stuff but this mental torture was horrible.
I kid you not, by this point I am frothing at the mouth with rage when she decides to finally let me out. I become a wild animal then ravaging her as I have never ravaged anyone in my life – think about a fat kid diving into chocolate cake at a fat camp. Twice.
This girl wants to settle down and I am honestly afraid as to what that means. I finally found someone more deviant than me and I am not sure I like. I haven’t closed the door on it but for the first time I am just not sure. LOL
This is the email conversation I had with Crazy Horse earlier today....
CH: I don't think I can hang with MC anymore *MC, by the way, is the bisexual Fuck Buddy of Crazy Horse* . We are bad together.
Connor: Why so?
CH: Well first, what we do to each other isn't normal and her level of deviance is starting to exceed mine and second, she has broken up with her gf/bf and is starting to think she wants to settle down. The last one is a major red flag since it is not an option for me. LOL
Connor: LMAO... deviance worse than yours?? I find this intriguing... do tell.
CH: It left me with a bit of shame. LOL. I can't put it in the work email. You'll have to wait until I can email you from home.
Connor: I certainly hope nothing entered thine sacrad cavity of holiness?
CH: LOL. I knew that is what you would think but, thankfully, no. Trust me she has mentioned it before but I told her that I would seriously kill her if she tried.
Connor: You sir sit on a throne of lies!! I can smell the dishonesty from here... You have been sodomised. Either PDP will grant you god like powers or cast you into his bottomless belly for this.
CH: LMAO!!! Upon my very soul I was not!!! May PDP strike me down. Which he likely will regardless but you get the idea.
All I can say right now is that it was more along the lines of what Mark would enjoy *Mark, a friend of CH, likes to be beaten and tied up during sex. This came to light one night when a stripper began to spank him and he began moaning in pleasure to the shock, delight and amazement of everyone else there. He especially enjoyed it when she caught some ball with her lashings*. I prefer to be the one in control and with all the power, I do not like being helpless. It actually pissed me off quite a bit honestly. The only benefit is when I was set free I was like a wild beast.
Connor: ROTFLMAO !!!!! I don't care this has to go on the blog
*By the way, I think he has been mentally scared by this.... Yet more emails later in the day*
CH: While I accepted her request I was laughing the whole time thinking about telling you. LOL
Connor: HAHAHA! That is fucking awesome!!
CH: The worst thing about it, and she probably knew it, is that I am an extreme extrovert. I hate being left alone and/or ignored. I was going absolutely crazy. But she had been learning this Japanese rope stuff apparently and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. I would have preferred to be beaten.
<- Japanese fucking rope work and mental abuse... Only fucking Crazy Horse could get himself into that situation.
So here it is folks... Our favourite guest author, Crazy Horse (who is crazy by the way), has been kind enough to write up another story to tantalise our senses and delight our minds. This one, being part of a mini series of uncompromising brilliance and audacity, takes us on a sleaze ridden ride to the beautiful beaches of rio de janeiro... enjoy
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Let me start off with some gross generalizations – Brazil is the best place in the world, nobody works, everybody parties, nobody has any inhibitions and Viagra is sold over the counter. People may scoff at the last bit and say they don’t need it but trust me after a week in Brazil you most certainly will. Half the time I took it before going out just to give me the incentive to meet people.
The women down there are incredible – beautiful and super friendly. Now there is an obvious “grass is greener” thing going on here. My Brazilian friends hate Brazilian chicks because you either have to have money, be somebody or be from the US/UK for them to give you the time of day. However, these same guys make a killing with the chicks in NYC so I say take advantage of what you got where ever you can.
I arrived in Rio not knowing what is in store for me and worse still knowing that I get bored easily. I generally like places that are a little shady and potentially dangerous. I knew this would be a good trip as soon as I got into a cab on my way to the hotel when I saw a 6’6” tranny throwing a cinderblock at a cop car. I thought to myself I’m going to like it here.
The trip started off great when I scored first at the exchange counter. I caught this girl’s eye, smiled, and then waved when she walked away. Not thinking much of it I was practically tackled when leaving the exchanger. I don’t really know what was said, or care, since she barely spoke English and I only speak broken Spanish (not Portuguese) but the jist of it was I like you, here’s my number call me and we can hang out at your hotel. We did and it was that night that I thought “Someone told me you don’t need a prescription for Viagra down here. I’ll have to look into that at the Pharmacy tomorrow.”
Among the motley crew I was with, three of us stood out – myself, Brad from Iowa (all the Brazilian chicks called “Leonardo Di Caprio”) and Chino (Chinese guy). Women would approach us on the street under any pretext – “Hey, I like your tattoos. Here’s my number.” After a few days of training and only mild partying the wheels came off the wagon as I kicked off a bender. I bought two arm’s full of 40 .oz beers, Chino scored some weed and we made a gravity bong. At this point I am uncontainable, bouncing off the walls and screaming at people in Chinese curses I picked up on my travels. My friend Rafael pleaded with me to relax as he was afraid I, an obvious gringo, would end up in a favella (which I did) and would get mugged (which, by the grace of PDP, never happened).
That night, in particular, was funny as we headed out to a club where I decide to play up the Leonardo Di Caprio thing. Brad didn’t know it yet but he copped on pretty quick to my game. Anywhere he went I would stand at his shoulder with one hand covering my ear and the other in my pocket. When he went to the restroom, I checked it out first to make sure the coast was clear. I stated rather loudly that I promised his “manager” that I would get him to the studio by the next morning no ifs, ands or buts. It was at this point that the gaggle of girls around us asked who he was. “Why, he’s Danny Doyle from America’s newest pop group the Flash Bottom Boys.” I was an ex-special forces operative now working security to the stars of course. To sell the story, I then purchased a few bottles of champagne and reserved a table, at seven real to the dollar it was like a cup of coffee. We later took the party back to the hotel room and gave the girls a story to remember, not to mention some autographs – worth $0.05 on eBay.
Now this is not to say that I am without heart. Truth be told, I fall in love every time I go down to Brazil. Later in Sao Paolo I met up with some other friends. We go to a bar/club/restaurant thing sit down for a casual meal and a chat. My buddy’s wife goes to the restroom and as soon as she leaves the girls next to us come over and tell my friend he is hot. He says thank you and moves on. His wife returns when I see the most beautiful Japanese/Brazilian girl in my life. My friend’s wife then gets up to talk to her to bring her over. While she is away the other girls approach us again and tell my friend that they really like him. He replies that he is married to which they say “We know”. God I love this place. My friend’s wife comes back with the chick in tow. She is excited to meet this guy from New York and she has always wanted to go there (they all do). I tell her that I’m an ass model and she asks me if I think she could be. I give her a good feel and tell her that she needs some work and there is a gym around the corner (not true, you could bounce a quarter of her ass). Anyway, I then proceed to tell her that her parent’s lied to her about her Japanese heritage as she is obviously Chinese and refuse to hear any of her arguments until she offers to take me around Little Tokyo the next day. The next day turns into five as I missed my flight and stayed with her until I ran out of cash. I thought if I could put her out to hook I could stay longer but I decided that I actually liked her so I left her with a false name, number and a promise to take her to New York.
The last thing I remember from that trip was a Brazilian girl telling me that they like foreign guys because all Brazilian guys cheat. After all, it’s not a like a foreign guy would traipse halfway around the world, leaving his girl back home, and hesitate to hook up with a scantily clad, sun-bathed beauty. Nah of course not. We’re made of sterner stuff than that.
Stay tuned for part 2....
