Now I don't want to make a big deal out of this but

I hate Irish girls! They are the most miserable bunch of C U Next Tuesdays that I have ever witnessed. In some regards I am thankful for them because they periodically remind me how cool other girls are. Now it doesn't bother me or anything... I'm just saying I wish they would all explode of herpes, not that I care though... Did I mention that I hate them?

After the glory of the man with no shame on Friday myself and Mad Mal hit Manchester to watch Man Utd (Mal is a big Manchester Utd supporter) play Blackburn at Old Trafford on the saturday. Good game, ended up 2-1 to Man Utd. Looks like Utd have the league in the bag now after this weekend actually. 

"WTF?!? I hate Soccer! Get on with it!"

OK OK Jesus!! Well after the game we met up with a friend of Mals, Deco, who is a student up there in Manchester. Sure enough, we went to some shit hole student bar in the middle of town with Deco and a couple of his hippy student pals to imbibe a few post match beverages. As we sat in that shit hole bar, firing down cheap drinks I was was flooded with nostalgic glee thinking of my student days of yore (most of which was spent in a drunken stupor completely devoid of female attention, obliviously delighted) and we decided to stay with the students and relive our university years. Magic!!

Well that was of course until a bunch of thundering Irish cunts arrived into the place. They knew the lads there supposedly and had just come back from winning some trophy for being bitches or something. 

You see readers a very odd thing happens when I come into contact with extended social circle Irish girls... for some strange reason, that I am completely boggled by, the miserable bitches are completely immune to my charm! I absolutely don't get it! 

Well cos I am such a sweet guy I attempt to make some polite conversation with one of them anyway, giving them the benefit of the doubt... Get this! The ignorant so and so didn't even have the decency to laugh at my jokes or fluff her hair about or stare at me in awe or get all submissive or anything... Not even a fucking giggle. I repeat this procedure a few more times and similar patterns emerge. One of them has the cheek to look disinterested and back turn me!! I feel like grabbing the she devil and turning her back around to explain how this works!

"Excuse me she-bitch but you appear to be confused as to how this works.... I talk to you for 2 minutes, you get all giggly and excited. Then we talk normal for a bit and make a little connection. After that I talk to you about how I would fuck you but for some arbitrary barriers I throw out there... Get it?"

Nothing. Not that I care or anything but these chicks should be clamoring for my sweet validation. So being that I am completely stumped by these behaviour patterns I decide to emulate my hero CJ and put on my scientists hat to figure out what is going on... Using some advanced scientific data analysis patterns I came up with a number of theories.

a.) They are a coven of witches.

b.) It's somehow Ross's fault (I am blaming him for everything bad that happens to me as of late).

c.) I am so cool that they all feel disqualified to be with me.

Theory 'c' had to be later ruled out as one of the really heinous ones kept trying to feel me up, leaving theory 'a' and theory 'b' the only viable options. 

Later on we hit some student club where I got hammered and talked to some normal girls. Had a good bash at getting one of them back to the hotel, alas her friends saved her from a night of very angry sex. Then myself and Mal, empty and alone, wandered the streets of Manchester completely shitfaced until 4am. 

I burned the ear off of Mal for the whole journey back to London about what bitches they were. I don't care though because I am internally validated... 

Fucking Bitches!