Back when I was a total fucking retard I somehow managed to get her to be my GF. Actually it was because she was my friends sister and I somehow pulled a few moves out of the bag hammered one night. I thought she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen and to this day I have no idea what she saw in me back then. While going out with her I was a complete mess and I just couldn't understand why she didn't feel the way about me that I did about her. I was super needy and super retarded. If one was looking for a fantastic tool to model other tools on I certainly would have been a good candidate.
After we broke up I was so pissed with her, like, in my head everything was her fault. She was a bitch for that and a bitch for that. I was pretty hurt and to be honest I kinda hated her a little bit. After I first read the book the game I was thinking... Oooh I'll get really good with girls and that will show her or I'll be really successful in London and that would show her!
I met her last night for the first time in about 2 years or more. I don't want to sound like a douche but I am a hell of a lot cooler now than I was back then. And you know what... I didn't want to show her anything. I just wanted her to be happy. She is just a sweet girl and I was a dope for acting the way I did back then. I didn't wanna fuck her and I didn't want to make her think I am cool now. I just wanted to make sure she is OK and make her feel good. We hung out for 5 hours, basically me talking a lot, making her laugh and saying shit to make her feel better. In fact I felt like an idiot for ever wanting to show her anything. It was really nice actually. I made extra sure not to try and make any moves. I did NOT want to kiss her or anything, even though I think it would have been easy "just happen". She text'd me today thanking me for cheering her up saying she hadn't laughted like that in ages. Man, I just hope that she finds a great guy(or that her current guy takes care of her and isn't an ass clown like I was) and has a great life or something like that.
I don't know what the point of any of this is really. Its just the way I'm feeling right now.
Oh, I don't wanna come off all, like, I used to be an idiot and now I'm so cool or anything. I still don't know what I am at half the time... I am just 100% sure nobody else does either. Oooh apart from CJ maybe, he appears to be a genius.
:)
4 comments:
This is called being human!
And it's something that many "puas" aren't able to do.
Having no outcome and just giving value is such a strong thing. I don't want to sound like a hippie here, but it's nice being nice sometimes, if you know what I mean!
So, good for you man. And of course "there is a point to this one".
You evolved and you're able to express another side of yourself!
that's really sweet of you...I'm like that with my exbf. At first I wanted him to get a terrible case of herpes from his new gf, but now I just want him to be happy.
Thanks guys, this post did have a few too many shades of hippy but it is nice being nice sometimes, who'd have thought?
what a fag!
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